My first MBT group session is today. I’m really nervous even though I think we’re just starting with some basic sessions to explain what MBT is and what the aims are. I’ve woken up early and I can’t go back to sleep, so I thought I’d write about what the evaluation was like yesterday. The evaluation isn’t necessarily for me, it is mostly for the NHS trust to take a before measure of my mental health so that they can take an after measure at the end of the 18 months of therapy and decide if MBT is worth the cost. I suppose it also gives me an idea individually if I’ve improved but since it was done based on the last week or two and I feel like I’ve been doing okay for the last couple of weeks, relatively speaking, I’m not sure they’re representative. I tried to be totally honest anyway.
The person before me overran so I was stuck in the stuffy new waiting room for ages. It’s a small internal room with lots of windows like an airless fishbowl, I hate it. Eventually I got shown through by a typical assistant psychologist with a patronising voice. Unfortunately she reminded me of a friend that betrayed me last year, I tried to ignore the likeness.
The evaluation consisted of several questionnaires measuring my responses on a scale to lots of statements. Some were about my mood and some were about my behaviour. I found these quick and easy to fill in, there were just lots of them! One of the statements was very heterocentric, asking if I felt uncomfortable around the “opposite sex”. I pointed this out to her but she blamed the questionnaire people rather than the team’s decision to still use a scale that includes such an item. So that wasn’t very reassuring.
After that we did a semi-structured interview mostly about impulsive behaviours and abandonment issues. She recorded this and said another psychologist would probably listen to it, it wasn’t clear who. It finished within the hour despite the late start, she said I was very quick at filling in the questionnaires so perhaps that’s why.
Hopefully this is informative for anyone going for a similar appointment. I plan to write about my experiences with MBT on this blog going forward so subscribe for updates and follow me on Twitter @borderlion for the latest.
- What is BPD (howilivewithbpd.wordpress.com)