This week I told my therapist about how I had found it easier to talk in the group due to the calmer atmosphere and the increase in structure that the group leaders had established for the next couple of weeks.
She had set me the homework of writing down what I am currently struggling with the most and what I would most like to work on. My three main points were as follows:
1. I would like to have better relationships with other people.
– This includes needing to feel that I exist and that I know who I am.
– At the moment I find I am always very afraid of what people will think of me. I worry that they’ll be angry with me or think badly of me.
– I always expect that people are trying to manipulate or hurt me.
– Splitting – I can easily see someone as all good or all bad and not the more complicated truth of a situation.
2. I would like to have less extreme emotions, and to cope with my emotions in better ways.
3. I would like to gain closure and move on from my past.
We talked about 1. in detail and will be talking about 2. and 3. in more detail next week.
She said she was really impressed with the effort I had put in and that what I’d told her was really helpful. It fit in well with what she’d had in mind to work on too.
It made me feel great that she was pleased with me. I’m always so desperate for approval…