MBT Week 5: Individual Session

This week I told my therapist about how I had found it easier to talk in the group due to the calmer atmosphere and the increase in structure that the group leaders had established for the next couple of weeks.

She had set me the homework of writing down what I am currently struggling with the most and what I would most like to work on. My three main points were as follows:

1. I would like to have better relationships with other people.
– This includes needing to feel that I exist and that I know who I am.
– At the moment I find I am always very afraid of what people will think of me. I worry that they’ll be angry with me or think badly of me.
– I always expect that people are trying to manipulate or hurt me.
– Splitting – I can easily see someone as all good or all bad and not the more complicated truth of a situation.

2. I would like to have less extreme emotions, and to cope with my emotions in better ways.

3. I would like to gain closure and move on from my past.

We talked about 1. in detail and will be talking about 2. and 3. in more detail next week.

She said she was really impressed with the effort I had put in and that what I’d told her was really helpful. It fit in well with what she’d had in mind to work on too.

It made me feel great that she was pleased with me. I’m always so desperate for approval…

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2 thoughts on “MBT Week 5: Individual Session

  1. Dealing with confrontation around us can be difficult. For me, it is a trigger for past childhood memories of my parents arguing. My stomach churns and my hands shake.

    I also worry about what other people think. I even worry about what people think when they read my anonymous blog!

    Splitting and extreme emotions are a real problem; it gets in the way of living life and I suppose change comes through the educational part of your course and time to explore. The root of all significant change starts with the desire and motivation. It sounds like you are certainly on the right track

    • Thanks Cat, my fears of confrontation also stem from my childhood: fights with my dad and his unpredictable anger and violence.

      I know what you mean about worrying what people think, even when anonymous! It’s tough to let go of that. I always want people to like me, when perhaps there are other more important things – like learning to be true to myself (whatever that means).

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