MBT Group Week 12

I left group feeling really angry this week. I felt livid that someone would suggest that any of us weren’t putting 100% effort into the group or that we’re not there for the right reasons.

There wasn’t much chance to discuss this but I imagine there will be next week.

I also came out as bisexual, sort of. I mentioned a date with a woman, and they know I’ve had a non female partner recently move out – although I often say partner and rarely use pronouns so perhaps they just assume I am a lesbian, since they perceive me as a woman.

People kept saying “friend” and then I said something that implied she’s more than a friend and I don’t know if it sank in or not. Having to “come out” as stuff in therapy is such bullshit. Especially things that I know will need explaining to people, like non monogamy.

I came away feeling upset and agitated. I went from one thing to the next all afternoon, ranting and latching onto things to worry about. I had two phonecalls from my social worker attempting to calm me down. I’m seeing her today in a prearranged appointment, so hopefully that will help.


4 thoughts on “MBT Group Week 12

  1. The assumptions and labels really get on my nerves. I’ve heard the “your friend” comment so many times when clearly they know he was more than a friend. Some people just can’t bring themselves to say it, but I think this is more about them not really knowing what to say and being afraid they offend.

    Unless someone can look inside us – be us for the day – they cannot know our enthusiasm or the effort we put in. Most of my therapy was triggered IN the group, but most of my self-analysing went on outside. Assumptions and judgements in a group are extremely damaging and the leaders should be directing the group to this.

    When I’m agitated, I start “splitting” everything. Unfortunately – or fortunately – the anger is mostly inward. I hope you manage to talk things through this afternoon. Look forward to your update.

    Wishing you peace!

  2. Reading this reminded me how upset and agitated group made me. To the ‘coming out’ part of it – that must be tricky. Remember a lot of us straight folks are leery of giving offense about sexualities we may not be familiar with – maybe of asking a question that’s too personal. People who don’t respond as you’d like on this are not necessarily hostile, is all I mean to say. I assume your own mixed feelings about gender / sexuality are coming up here. Hope you are feeling calmer once again.

    • I don’t have mixed feelings about being bisexual actually, I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, but I know what you mean that people don’t necessarily mean to be hostile. In general I’d say that intentions only go so far… In this case it was only that the assumption of friend sort of forced me into coming out or a lie of omission. Of course if there weren’t assumptions about sexuality I wouldn’t have to “come out” at all!

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