I was so hopeful when I started this therapy. I thought this blog would chart my recovery but maybe it won’t.
Today I told the group about how I don’t know what I’m doing there. I panic because I know we’re nearly a third of the way through and I don’t know how to use the group.
I’m not going to get better because I don’t talk because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what the right things to talk about are to make the therapy work, to get better.
I explained how I get so anxious I find I can’t talk and think at the same time. I forget what I’m trying to say or I feel like I’m not making sense so I just give up and shut up.
Then someone commented about how negative the group has been today. But maybe this was a positive to me. Being honest and breaking out of my silence. The rut I feel stuck in. I don’t speak much so no one expects me to speak.