MBT Week 21

A few things happened this week:
– I wondered if I am projecting my lack of respect for my dad’s authority onto the male group leader. It’s a hugely cliché idea, I know, but perhaps it became a cliché for a reason.
– I found out my dad might have cancer, and we won’t know for sure until December, when he has his biopsy.
– I had a rambly individual therapy session in which I admitted I feel I have made myself vulnerable by telling my therapist things I have never spoken about with anyone before, and that I’m sort of waiting to see if anything bad happens. I guess this an important part of learning to trust someone.
– It’s also an important reminder to me that therapy does not have to be revelations and breakthroughs all the time. Sometimes it will feel like I’m not making progress, and those moments are probably just as vital as when I’m spilling my guts.
– My social worker and I went over the plan for my CPA meeting, which will happen on Tuesday morning before the next group session. Basically I’m dreading it. Me, in a room with the four people involved in my treatment, them all talking about me? This is a recipe for embarrassment and awkwardness.

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2 thoughts on “MBT Week 21

  1. I’m sorry to read about your Dad. That must be tough, not helped by the wait

    It’s very easy to project things from the past into the present.. I usually feel uncomfortable with group leaders and authoritarian figures.

    I’m always amazed at the progress you are making in therapy. You are so right about it being okay to have those quieter moments.

    Good luck for Tuesday….that’s not an easy situation…lol…I refuse to meet my CPN with the Psychiatrist because I feel so paranoid….

    • Thanks Cat. Yeah, I’m not so good at dealing with uncertainty – the wait for the biopsy will be tough (as I’m sure it will be for him!).

      I know, it’s so awkward when there are several professionals in the room. I always feel intimidated and awkward :S Will be glad when it’s over.

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