This week has been a mixture. Group was a tense one, with voices raised, and I get terrified whenever anyone gets angry. I have a quick temper myself, when I feel safe with someone, so this makes no sense to me. I guess it’s another gift from my dad.
I’ve been paranoid, I think. It’s hard to tell what’s real. Also, I’m living with some severe cuts at the moment that I did last week, which have been painful. Focusing on the pain has helped at times.
Individual therapy today was good. We talked about how I feel with my friends, that I always feel like it’s a fluke when people like me, I am always buying time until the real me slips through the cracks and then people will hate me. I know me, and I hate me. I guess I reason that others will feel the same.