Fear of anger, fear of being myself

This week has been a mixture. Group was a tense one, with voices raised, and I get terrified whenever anyone gets angry. I have a quick temper myself, when I feel safe with someone, so this makes no sense to me. I guess it’s another gift from my dad.

I’ve been paranoid, I think. It’s hard to tell what’s real. Also, I’m living with some severe cuts at the moment that I did last week, which have been painful. Focusing on the pain has helped at times.

Individual therapy today was good. We talked about how I feel with my friends, that I always feel like it’s a fluke when people like me, I am always buying time until the real me slips through the cracks and then people will hate me. I know me, and I hate me. I guess I reason that others will feel the same.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s